


Like I'm Indestructible

by Zialltops



Series: Louder Than Love Series [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Timelines, Anal Sex, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Autism, Car Sex, Child Abuse, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Consensual Underage Sex, Drug Abuse, Drunk Sex, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Half-Sibling Incest, Homelessness, Isolation, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, No Underage Sex, Oral Sex, Parent/Child Incest, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Public Sex, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rough Sex, Setting change, Sex, Sex Toys, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Sibling Incest, Sibling Love, Statutory Rape, Substance Abuse, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, True Love, Underage Sex, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-19
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-24 00:12:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/932733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zialltops/pseuds/Zialltops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Alternate timeline) Lets take it back in time. To a time where Zayn and Niall never meet the Tomlinson's. What would have happened if Zayn was forced to protect his baby brother, his prince charming, his love, until they were old enough to be on their own? Zayn is doing everything he can to care for Niall. He takes beatings for him. He takes abuse for him. He does everything in his power to keep him safe. But when they finally are freed form there prison they call home, how will the survive in the real world?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1 - Love You Like I've Never Been Hurt Before

_Zayn quickly made up his decision, asking Niall to stay at the hospital for only a few hours while he went and moved Niall’s room into his own. He tore the curtains back, exposing his darkened room to the mid-morning sun._

_He then retreated to taking down his paintings, laying them in a shoe box and stuffing it under his bed, before making his way to Niall’s room where he un-tacked the beautiful artwork carefully, bringing each and every one back to his room. One of Cinderella and the mice, cleaning and singing there sweet tune. The next, Snow white being kissed by the prince. And finally, Niall’s favorite of them all, Was Aladdin and Princes Jasmine, riding on the magic carpet, taking her to a wonderful place like Zayn wanted to do for Niall._

_He wanted to take him far, far away, giving him a Castle as promised; A carefree life and a room where he could paint away all day, instead of being bombarded with school work. Because in Zayn opinion, Niall was too smart for all of that, and deserved to do whatever he pleased, every day, forever, and if painting was what his little heart desired, then painting it would be._

_"What are you doing?" A deep voice growled. It had Zayn’s skin crawling, shivers running up his spine. "I'm moving Niall into my room." He shot back, starting to pin Niall’s paintings of colorful Disney scenes on his wall, first his princesses and princes, then the others in which had no theme, but came from Niall’s head like a picture._

_One of Oliver and company; a movie he enjoyed as a little boy, then Dumbo and Mickey Mouse._

_"You’re not putting him in here." He father ordered, Zayn’s head whipped around. "I'm the only one who cares for him! He’s staying in my room whether you like it or not, and if you want him, you'll have to get through me. Shove as many things inside of me as you want but never touch my little brother again!" With that, he shoved the man from his view, slamming the door tight and finishing their room._

_He changed the gloomy dark sheets to bright green ones, the ones with little clovers that Niall loved. Next; he set up his and Niall’s art supplies together, his on the right of his dresser, Niall’s on the left and their stock paper right in the middle._

_He knew painting was Niall’s life, so it would be there main focus from that point on. His love would never have to worry about their father again because Zayn would take every beating; every rape, Zayn would take it like a man._

_For Niall._

_~*~_

_Once finished with his-their room, He grabbed a few paints and sheets of paper, making his way out to the car where he put the things in the back gently, taking the trip back to the hospital._

_"Mr. Malik, can I have a word with you?" The morning nurse lifted her hand up in order to get Zayn’s attention. "Yes Ma'am?"_

_The lady led him over to the counter where a very nice seeming, and very well dressed woman stood. "Mr. Malik, this is Ms. Edwards. She’s a Social worker and she wants to speak with Niall. Do you think that would be okay?"_

 

          Zayn shuttered at the thought. He couldn’t talk to social services, Niall could be taken away, they could be separated and that was the last thing he wanted. "No, I...I don’t think that would be a very good idea. Niall does things like this out of curiosity all the time, I'm sure if you asked him he would say the same. Now, if you would excuse me I need to get back to him."

 

          Zayn huffed once before he trotted off to Niall’s hospital room, where he peeked his head in and caught Niall right in the middle of some early morning cartoons. "Oh toddles!" He giggled and clapped his hands once.

 

          Zayn chuckled, startling him before the boy smiled and held out his arms for his older brother. "Look what I got, Charming." Zayn smirked, holding up a small box in his hand and some scratch papers. "We paint!" Niall squealed, bouncing up and down on his bum like there was nothing wrong.

 

          Zayn grabbed Niall’s eating tray and rolled the protruding table top over the bed were he lay out the supplies. He then scooted in beside his baby brother and rested an arm around him. "What should we paint, babe?" Zayn wondered, dipping on of the smaller brushes in black paint. "Simba and Nala!"

 

          Simba and Nala it was as Zayn and Niall’s hands moved as one, Zayn keeping Niall in line, with straight edges and shading, till mid-day when they finally finished. Due to a paint miss-half and a rather large crying fit from Niall. But, everything was resolved and Niall finished his painting.

 

          And now, as Zayn packed everything up, Niall’s heart monitors and IV was removed, the two boys would get to go home. Sadly, a few minutes before, the hospital contacted Niall’s mother for her to come and pick the two boys up, which she did. She and Zayn’s father sat outside in the lobby, grumbling about what a waste of time this had been.

 

          Zayn dressed Niall quickly and rushed him out of the hospital, placing him in his own car instead of his parents, seeing as he didn’t want Niall alone in the same car of those monsters. "Why aren’t we riding with mummy and dad?" Niall wondered curiously as he tried to put his seatbelt on, not able to put it in the buckle. "Because I don’t want to drive home alone, bud." Zayn lied.

 

          The ride home was rather loud, contrary to popular belief about fanfictions. Niall giggled and laughed about all the silly nurses, and sang along to the radio, well, tried.

 

          "Were home!" Zayn cheered, seeing as his parents car wasn’t in the drive of their crummy home. Zayn hated it here. Nothing was in shape, there was trash all over the yard (And house) and it could really use some fixing up. Not that any of them had the money for that.

 

          "Home, home, home!" Niall giggled and pulled himself from the car slowly. "Take it easy charming." Zayn warned, grabbing Niall’s things from the back and following the young blond into the house. "Go to my room, I have a surprise." Zayn gestured to the closed door, in which Niall opened cautiously. "Woh," He breathed as he glanced around the usually dark room. "Zaynie what happened?" He giggled, throwing himself onto Zayn bed.

 

          "You’re staying in my room now, charming." Zayn smiled, setting there things down and flopping beside the blonde. "I have to protect you more," Zayn managed a smile and pressed a small kiss to Niall’s forehead. "You’re the best," Niall chirped, wrapping his arms tightly around Zayn’s neck, nuzzling his face into the warm chest. "Love's you." Niall breathed, his eyes feeling heavy and droopy.

 

          "Love you too, Charming."


	2. Chapter 2 - When You Cry, I Cry With You

             Two A.M. rolled around and Zayn got not a wink of sleep. He only watched his bedroom door for any hint of his father, his body perched against the head bored with Niall in his arms, his steady breathing painting Zayn’s chest like a storm in the Sahara.

 

             Zayn stiffened when the small blonde stirred, his baby blue eyes cracking open and he peeked up at Zayn with pure and utter innocents. A hint of tiredness swimming in the ocean of aqua. A small smile spread across his lips and Zayn imagined that same smile aging through the years, waking up like that with a calm patter of rain outside there window on a rainy morning.

 

             "Why are you up, Charming?" Zayn wondered, brushing hair out of the blondes face. "I have to potty." Niall blushed and used Zayn to prop himself up. "C'mon then," Zayn gestured, picking Niall up like a small child, his head rested on Zayn’s shoulder, he legs wrapped lazily around him. Niall was so little and frail, Zayn couldn’t get over the fact that he could break at any moment.

 

             "Hurry we need to get back to bed, we have school in the morning, if you’re up for it?" Zayn wondered as he set Niall on the cold tile of there now shared bathroom. It sent a shock up Niall’s spine and he tingled a little, shivering as he sat down on the potty. Of course, Niall didn’t like standing while he peed, made him feel funny. Even if Zayn had to clean off the toilet seat when he was finished. "Don’t like school." Niall grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest with a sigh in his voice.

 

             "I know, but you have to go, Charming." Zayn bit on his lip in frustration. He really didn’t look forward to dragging Niall to the car in the morning. “Maybe we can leave early and go to the park? We could go see the ducks!” Zayn tempted the younger boy, smiling brightly at the smaller, who of course, grinned just the same and nodded his head. “All done!” Niall finally cheered and Zayn helped him wipe his willy (Niall insisted) And pull up his pants. “Go lay down, yeah?” Zayn smiled and kisses the top of Niall’s head, rushing him on his way while he cleaned up the reminisce of Niall’s mess.

 

             Meanwhile, Niall crawled into bed, situating himself in his favorite (And only) pair of pajamas. When he finally settled, the bedroom door creaked open and Niall’s wary eyes shot open, a tall figure staring in on him. “Niall.” Their father said roughly. Pointing his dirty little finger at Niall.

 

             “Come. Here.” As much as Niall didn’t want to, he knew it would come back to bite him in the long run, so, he stood on shaky legs and wobbled to the doorway were he ‘dad’ grabbed the back of his head, smashing their lips together. Niall didn’t like when dad kissed him, it felt icky. So, he pushed away, making a displeased face and wiping his lips. “Get in our room.” The man insisted.

 

             Niall didn’t want to go. He wanted to go back to be with Zayn, wanted to cuddle into the warmth of his arms.

 

             “Don’t want to.” Niall pouted under his breath. His dad grabbed his chin, making the small boy stare into the man’s cold, dark eyes. He pecked the squirming boy’s lips once, or so Niall thought, but he soon found his lip being bitten harshly on, dragged between rough teeth that he didn’t exactly like. He tried to push him away, but the man bit harder, making the boy’s soft pink lip bleed red. Niall screamed, rather loud but his father covered his mouth with his left hand, smirking wickedly. Zayn was still oblivious to what was happening in his bedroom. His dad was good at covering his tracks.

 

             With his other hand, Yaser clutched Niall’s crotch, squeezing him and pressing the boy to the door. “Shut up ya fucking retard.” The man hissed. Maybe it was Niall’s soft whimpers, or Zayn ability to hear that word from a mile away, but Niall had never seen Zayn run so fast in his life.

 

             The older boy was there in a second, knocking his father to the ground in a fit of anger. “CAN’T YOU KEEP YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HIM FOR ONE NIGHT!” Zayn chuffed, bringing his brother into his arms, Niall whipping his bloody chin on Zayn’s bare chest.

 

             “What the fuckers your problem,” Yaser wiped his mouth and pulled himself from the floor, glaring at Zayn before existing the room.

 

             Zayn could feel the fear radiating off Niall like a fire. He was shaking, rather violently but it was no seizure, and that was a good thing. “Shh, Shh, It’s okay charming.” Zayn soothed, picking the blonde up in his arms where he carried him back to the bed, laying him down.

 

             Niall sobbed as he stared up at Zayn, his mouth bloody and kiss swollen. Zayn hated when his dad kissed Niall. Those were his lips, even if only in his dreams and he didn’t like the thought of that disgusting man laying a finger on him. Let alone his lips.

 

             “Please charming, stop crying. Everything is going to be okay, I swear.” Zayn peppered Niall’s face in short lived kisses, causing Niall to break out into a fit of laughter. _There’s my boy,_ Zayn thought and he smiled brightly at him, kissing his nose once before grabbing a dirty towel from the floor and using it to wipe Niall’s mouth. Promenade teeth marks were left behind, But Zayn was pretty used to covering Niall in makeup before school.

 

             But it didn’t make what Yaser did any better. It never would. “Hurts.” Niall whimpered, eyes watery with tears. “Your lip?”

 

             Niall shook his head slowly, his cheeks flaming red. He really didn’t want to say. Usually Zayn just…knew. Maybe it would be the same this time? “Your bum?” _There it was_. Niall nodded cautiously and Zayn chuckled, reaching into Niall’s bags on the floor where he found his cream, which was running low Zayn noticed.

 

             Niall pulled of his pants and undies, bringing his knees up slightly and spreading wide, just like Zayn had taught him to do. He didn’t like the cold cream, but Zayn’s hand were warm, so it was okay. He liked the way Zayn took care of him.

 

             “Deep breath in.” Zayn coached him and Niall giggled, taking the biggest breath he could and waiting for Zayn’s signal to let it out again. The darker’s cream covered fingers waited at Niall’s entrance, which clenched as a reflex. “Now out, and close your eyes.”

 

             Niall did as he was told, he didn’t like disappointing Zayn. He relaxed himself and let Zayn smother the tight rim of muscles with the numbing paste.

 

             Zayn chuckled when Niall flexed around his fingers, the boy snickering at his accomplishment. “Silly boy,” Zayn laughed, pulling his fingers from his brother and whipping them on the same bloody towel.

 

             Niall pulled his underwear (Tighty whities) back on and crawled under the blankets, where he waited for a drowsy Zayn, who wrapped his arms around the boy, pulling him into his chest and plastering a soft kiss to his forehead before Niall’s breathing steadied, small snores being pulled from his aching lips.


	3. Chapter 3 - Just a Little Bit Stronger

             The next morning Zayn woke up nice and early, laying out Niall's clothes and slipping into his own after a nice shower. He didn't hear their father yet, which was both good and bad, and he woke his charming up slowly.

 

             "Morning, charming," He smiled, kissing his forehead gently. Niall's lip had scabbed over from the event last night he was looking better without the tears on his face or blood on his chin. "We'll take a bath later tonight, so why don't you just get up and get dressed okay? We'll stop and see the ducks and be off to school just in time,"

 

             "Okay," Niall smiled, hopping up and pulling off his favorite pajamas quickly. Zayn helped him a little as he got dressed, and then collected their supplies for schools, slipping Niall's backpack onto his shoulders and kissing his temple. "Food now?"

 

             "Yes, Charming, food now," Zayn smiled.

 

             They walked quietly down the steps and it was nice when they weren't intercepted by either of their parents. Zayn grabbed a muffin and an apple for Niall and set it in front of him with a glass of juice.

 

             "Yummy!" Niall cheered, taking a bit of his muffin.

 

             Zayn smiled and grabbed a bowl of cereal for himself. It didn't take long for them to begin their walk towards the park, where they watched as the ducks swim and waddled around together. Zayn brought a few pieces of bread for Niall to throw to the ducks, and he did so with a wide smile on his face and beautiful giggles passing his lips. Zayn didn't think he had seen anything and beautiful and pure as Niall. The young boy was everything Zayn loved about the world. Innocent, pure, happy, yet troubled, deep down.

 

             It hurt Zayn more than he'd ever admit; watching Niall be so beautiful and troubled at the same time. How could someone hurt Niall? How could anyone ever want to hurt him?

 

             "C'mon, Niall, let's go to school," Zayn said.

 

             Niall made a face, waved bye to the ducks and grabbed Zayn's hand, turning around to watch the ducks swim as they walked away and towards school.

 

             "I come to classes with you today," Niall said, looking up at Zayn's sharp tan face and admiring his eyelashes. Niall always loved Zayn's eyelashes.

 

             "No, baby, you have to go to your special classes," Zayn said, coming to a stop at the street a looking both ways before carefully escorting Niall across.

 

             "Because I'm stupid?" Niall pouted.

 

             Zayn gave Niall a look, "No, charming, because you are special and different,"

 

             "Different is ugly," Niall said.

 

             "Different is amazing. Different is beautiful. Different is strong," Zayn countered with a smile, "Now c'mon, in we go,"

 

             As soon as they stepped inside the school building Niall covered his ears. He hated how loud school was and he didn't like the words that the kids screamed at him and Zayn. So he made all of the sound stay out and away from his head. He closed his eyes too, and Zayn sighed and pulled Niall along towards the special education room.

 

             "Niall," Zayn said. But his charming couldn't hear, his hands were pressed so tightly to his ears. Zayn grabbed Niall's hands and gently pulled them to the sides, "Here you go, I'll see you at lunch time, yeah?"

 

             Niall nodded sadly and leaned forward to kiss Zayn's cheek, "Bye bye Zaynie-kins,"

 

             Zayn sighed and walked down the hall towards his first class.

 

             Lunch time came quickly and Niall and Zayn returned to their little corner of the cafeteria, eating quietly while Niall ranted on about his teacher and how much he didn't like math.


	4. Chapter 4 - You've Got Me Feeling Like A Child Now

             Zayn really didn’t want to bring Niall back to his special education class, the main reason being he was selfish and wanted Niall all to himself. But on the other hand, he knew Niall hated that class, and he didn’t want to make his baby brother do something he didn’t like.

 

             "Charming?" Zayn called from across the lunch table and Niall scarfed down his food, looking up at Zayn with a mouth full of food. "Do you want to skip the rest of the day? We can go to the park again?"

 

             Niall nearly jumped out of his seat with excitement, nodding his head and bouncing. "Park!" Niall cheered. "Yeah, park. Why don’t you finish and we can go before class starts?" Zayn asked of the blonde as he finished his own sandwich, taking a drink of his soda (Niall drank milk) and getting up to throw away everything else.

 

             "Ready!" Niall cheered as he fixed his shoe, running a small, shaky hand through his blonde locks. They stood in the middle of the cafeteria now, not that either acknowledged it. Until of course, something moist and icky hit Niall right in the back of the head. The blonde gasped, his lip quivering as he brought his hand up to his head and felt whatever it was.

 

             Mack and cheese, that’s what it was...All over Niall’s hair and school uniform.

 

             Zayn noticed the boys contorting face and wrapped an arm around his baby brother. "No, no, it’s okay Charming, don’t cry." Zayn soothed, ushering him out the double doors, the rest of the cafeteria laughing _. Fucking assholes._

 

             "Z-Zaynie it’s icky!" Niall screamed, his body quivering. "I know, we’ll go get it cleaned off I promise. Please don’t cry?" Zayn pleaded of the blonde, kissing the corner of his mouth and leading him out of the school parking lot and down the street. They lived only a few blocks away, so the always walked to school. It was only noon so there father was gone for work, not that he actually did his job, but at least he wouldn’t be home.

 

             Which is where Niall and Zayn were now, Zayn leading him inside the house by his hand, where they passed by Niall passed out mother and headed up to the bathroom. Niall sad on the toilet seat as Zayn worked to clean off the Mack and cheese from his brothers head, peeling off his stained clothes and bending him over the bathtub to wash his hair out.

 

             Niall sniffled and crossed his arms as Zayn dried his hair with a towel, all the mean while trying to keep his cool. How could some people be so cruel? What had Niall ever done? He’s so innocent and small, how could anyone willingly want to hurt him?

 

             "W-We still go to the park?" Niall wondered, staring up at his brother who was at least a half a foot taller. "No, we'll go somewhere better, how’s that sound?" Zayn said in a excited voice and Niall giggled, nodding quickly. That did sound like fun...

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

             Twenty minutes later and Niall found himself in the passenger seat of Zayn’s black 2005 Honda civic. Niall liked Zayn’s car. The windows were dark and it always smelled nice. Zayn wasn’t in love with his car or anything, he just liked to keep it clean.

 

             "Where are we going?" Niall wondered as he played with his buzz light-year toy, banging it against the passenger window. "You'll have to wait and see, but I promise you'll like it."

 

             Zayn smirked at the road as they drove. He knew just where he wanted to take Niall _. Ice cream._

 

             He had money saved for things like this? He did work here and there, mowed a few lawns, walked a few dogs. All to help pay for Niall’s special life, and this counted as one of those occasions?

 

             Zayn finally pulled up in front of the little ice cream show, Niall still oblivious to it all as he played with buzz light-years arm. "Look Ni, were here." He pointed out.

 

             Niall gasped and looked up. Everything was so colorful and pretty. And the sign read "Ice cream and Frozen Yogurt" across the front, Niall was mighty proud when he sounded it out to himself.

 

             "Ice cream!" He cheered and unlatched his seat belt, Waiting for Zayn to come around and open his door, as to make sure Niall didn’t run off (It was routine).

 

             "I want strawberry!" Niall said before they even entered the store. Zayn grabbed onto his hand tightly. Not intertwining their fingers, but it was still enough to make Niall blush mad and bury his face in Zayn’s shoulder as they stood at the counter. "You wanted strawberry, bud?" Zayn questioned as he looked at the other flavors.

 

             Niall nodded slowly against Zayn’s skin and squeezed his hand tighter. He didn’t like people looking at him, and the girl across the room was doing just that.

 

             "Can I get...One strawberry waffle cone and a...Mint and chip waffle cone?" The cashier rang Zayn up and he had to let go of Niall’s hand to reach into his pocket, but that didn’t stop Niall from clinging to his body and hiding himself.

 

             Zayn grabbed a napkins for the two, wrapping one around Niall’s cone and he handed it to him, taking his hand again and walking him out of the store. Zayn left his car parked and they walked down the street, scattered with people, but Niall held onto Zayn’s hand with a vice grip.

 

             "Where we going?" Niall whispered as they walked. "I thought we would go for a walk?" Zayn shrugged and walked along, licking at his ice cream. When he glanced over at Niall, the smaller had pink dripping down his chin, Nialls’ tongue flicking out at the delicious cream. Zayn wanted to devour his mouth then, lap up all the sweet dribble from his chin and finally, shove that tongue deep down Niall’s throat and greedily lick up every ounce of ice cream.

 

             But of course, like the good little boy Zayn is, he merely smiled at his brother and continued to walk.

 

             They went nowhere important, but being together was important? And if Niall had fun, so did Zayn.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

             It was mid afternoon when they finally arrived home again, After one more trip to the park to see the ducks (Which Niall spent the whole time naming, even if each duck got at least three names).

 

             Niall didn’t want to go home but they had to right? Even if it meant Niall would be called horrid names and dragged into the corner to be kissed and fondled when Zayn wasn’t looking.

 

             As much as Zayn didn’t want to be there, he knew it was the rules. Zayn wasn’t eighteen yet and until that day, he and his precious baby had to stay under that roof, with that disgusting excuse of a man.


	5. Chapter 5 - Need You Now

Bath time was always Niall’s favorite. He got to sit in nice water and play with the toys Zayn got him. The water made Niall not feel so bad after scary night in his dad’s room or rough days at school. Zayn took him into the bathroom and smiled lovingly at Niall, letting him undress while he ran the water, making sure the temperature was just perfect. Then he helped his brother into the tub, eyeing his pale almost translucent skin that was soiled with mac and cheese a bit. Once Niall sunk into the water a smile spread onto his face and he look up to Zayn with a giggle and a hiccup.

 

            “Come in, Zayn,” Niall smiled, trying to grab some of the water and throw it on his counterpart. Zayn shook his head though, sitting on the toilet seat a good distance from the tub and watching from afar.

 

            “I took a shower earlier, charming,”

 

            “But your hands got dirty like me,” Niall said, “So you need a bath stinky boy,” He laughed gleefully and let out a shrill yelp out of pure joy, splashing water onto Zayn again.

 

            Zayn let out a light chuckle, “Niall, not today,”

 

            Niall’s face stopped being so happy now. He didn’t like it when Zayn said no to him. It wasn’t fair. Why wouldn’t Zayn get in the bath with him, “But…Zayn,” Niall pouted, tears filling his eyes.

 

            Zayn’s heart broke, and he hopped forward, landing on his knees at the side of the tub and soothing Niall, running his hands through his hair and gently stroking his face and chest, trying to calm him down. If there was one thing that Zayn hated in the world other than his dad, it was watching Niall cry. Because Niall was beautiful and pure, and he should never see misery or have a need to cry. He should always be happy and okay and looking into his future like it’s something amazing.

 

            “Shh,” Zayn cooed, “Maybe another time,”

 

            “You always say no,” Niall pointed out.

 

            It was true. Zayn always declined Niall of bathing with him. But what could Zayn do? He was practically in love with his _brother_. And really, it shouldn’t feel this right or this okay,  but it did. And he wasn’t sure why he sometimes dreamed of Niall’s lips against his own. In fact, he hated himself for those dreams. Zayn hated thinking about taking Niall’s innocents, or at least, what was left of it.

 

            “How about I give you something else instead?” Zayn said. And shit, did he really just say that. There was a terrible idea brewing in the front of his mind and he hated what was happening. His palms got sweaty and he leaned closer to Niall, staring at his lips. Was he really going to do this? Was he really going to kiss him? Niall smiled at him and leaned in too, following Zayn’s lead. He trusted Zayn.

 

            At the last second, Zayn pulled away, a pain hitting him in the chest.

 

            “Z-Z-Zayn!” Niall began to sob, confused. Had he done something wrong. Zayn growled—mostly at himself—and turned around, soothing his baby again.

 

            “How about we just finish with your bath, charming?” He suggested, grabbing the shampoo from the corner. Niall eventually calmed as Zayn rubbed the bubbles into his hair and made him smell like heaven, or at least, that’s what Niall thought. He thought he smelled like a real prince. Like one of the ones from the movies. “There, all done,” Zayn smiled, pulling Niall from the tub and wrapping him up in a towel. “Do you feel better?”

 

            Niall nodded and then asked, “Why did they throw food at me today? I do something wrong?”

 

            “No,” Zayn said, suddenly furious, “Charming, babe, you did absolutely nothing wrong,”

 

            “I don’t ever want to go back to school again,” Niall decided.

 

            Zayn chuckled and decided to save the debate for later and he lead Niall into his room and picked him out some comfortable clothes for the rest of the day. As the blonde changed, there was a loud noise from downstairs and Zayn panicked. Was their father home already? What time was it?

 

            “Niall, go into the bathroom and lock the door,” Zayn said.

 

            Niall looked up through his blonde hair that was falling over his face a little and tilted his head, “Why, Zaynie?”

 

            “Niall, do what I say,”

 

            Niall pouted, but stormed into the bathroom anyway, shutting the door. Zayn only slightly relaxed when he heard the small click of the handle. Then he took a deep breath and climbed under his bed, hoping to hide from his father until he left again.

 

            But suddenly there was a loud noise from the bathroom, and Zayn panicked because his dad probably heard that and now what? Was Niall in there hurt? Or did he just knock something down?

 

            “What the hell?” Zayn heard their dad scream as he busted into the bedroom, “Zayn, aren’t you supposed to be at school?”

  
            And then he was pulled out from under the bed harshly and slammed against the wall, “I’m sorry,” Was all Zayn managed to say.

 

            His father hit him hard, and then dropped him, walking towards the bathroom and hitting on the door hard.

 

            “Niall, open up for daddy,”

 

            “Don’t do it!” Zayn screamed. He received another harsh kick to the gut.

 

            “Open the door, Niall,” Their dad said, “Or else I’m going to hurt Zayn,”

 

            And wow, that was an all time low for their father. He had never threatened Niall with that before. Immediately the door opened and Niall rushed out, dropping to the floor beside Zayn.

 

            “Zaynie!” He cried.

 

            Their father grabbed the small boy and pulled him over his shoulder, smacking his bum hard. Zayn tried to get up, he tried to fight, but everything hurt.

 

            “Oh, Niall, what am I going to do with you tonight,” Their dad said sickly.

 

            And thank God there was a knock on the door, forcing their dad to stop and drop Niall, yelling as he told them to stay put. He ran to answer the door, slamming the bedroom closed behind him.

 

            “Zayn?” Niall cried, “Are you okay?”

 

            “Fine,” Zayn spat, “C’mon, we have to go, now,”

 

            “Where?”

  
            “Out the window,”


	6. Chapter 6 - I'll Listen To You Til' Your Tears Give Out

             Niall’s breath hitched and he crawled over to the window, where he sat down with a whimper while Zayn collected himself. Even though there home was shirt, it was still on the second story. Which meant they had to climb down, thankfully there was a rather large three, with a few sturdy branches.

 

             Zayn was out the window first, grabbing Niall’s hand once he stood on one branch. "Its okay, babe. Trust me." And of course Niall trusted him, he trusted the older lad with everything he had. He trusted Zayn like a child trusts there father to do no harm. Oh, the irony.

 

             "Z-Zaynie what if he catches us?" Niall whispered as he stepped lightly on the branch in front of Zayn, holding himself up with the long branch above them. "He won’t, but we need to hurry." Zayn instructed as Niall reached the trunk of the tree, stepping onto the branch below him. "Careful charming." Zayn whispered as the blonde climbed down, his toes finally meeting the hard ground.

 

             They both climbed down safely, but with Niall’s whimpering, Zayn was frightened they might get caught. Which wouldn’t turn out good for either of them. "Shh, charming you need to be quiet. Please. I don’t want to get caught." Zayn pleaded but Niall let out a shaky sob. Zayn had to think of something, anything.

 

             "Hey, if you’re quiet, I'll get you a surprise?" Zayn offered, rubbing Niall’s arm soothingly. "Anything you want, charming." He added, trying to calm his brother.

 

             Niall shook his head, biting down on his quivering and chapped lips. "C'mon, Ni, there has to be something?" Zayn said in a hush hush voice, licking at his own lips. "W-Want what you were going to give me in the bath?" Niall wondered.

 

             As much as Zayn didn’t want to, it was the only way, and if he promised it now, he couldn’t go back on that. "O-Okay, but not here. We have to go somewhere safe first, okay?"

 

             Niall’s face turned pink and he nodded quickly, letting Zayn take his hand and take him into the back ally, where they made their way down to the end of the street. They kept walking in different direction and Niall wasn’t sure he liked this. He was only in his pajamas and some slippers, Zayn in his sweats, matching slippers and a tank top. He had a jumper on as well, but it wasn’t very warm. The both of them shivered and shook and it wasn’t even five pm yet.

 

             How where they supposed to make it through the night?

 

             Finally, around dinner time, they reached a long stretch of tall buildings, where Zayn searched aimlessly. "Where are we going?" Niall wondered as a crack of thunder sounded through the sky and he squealed rather loudly. "Somewhere safe, baby brother." Zayn ensured as he held onto Niall tighter, turning the corner of a old ally way behind some Italian restaurant where the only thing in sight was a dumpster and a dark phone booth.

 

             "C'mon," Zayn tugged on Niall’s arm as a few drops of rain hit their heads. It wasn’t ideal, it wasn’t very warm and it wasn’t a spacious as Zayn hoped, but he crammed Niall and him both inside the phone booth, Niall between his legs with his arms wrapped tightly around the younger boy.

 

             "Don’t like it." Niall complained as the rain picked up, pounding against the top of the booth. "S'cold." Niall whimpered again and turned to snuggle into Zayn’s chest, collecting his warmth and sense of safety. "I know, I'm sorry." Zayn sighed. Maybe they should have stayed home, maybe Zayn could have said school got out early, or Niall got sick. He could have took Niall’s punishment, could have let his dad rape him but he was a coward, and he made his little brother run.

 

             And now...now they were held up in some cramped, mildew smelling phone booth with no sense of warmth and empty bellies. That was another thing. He dragged Niall away with nothing for dinner and oh, how silly of him. Zayn forgot to bring money.

 

             "I'm so sorry." Zayn cooed, kissing the nape of Niall’s neck. "I messed up so bad, I'm sorry." He almost sobbed into Niall’s neck, hiding his face there.

 

             Niall didn’t say a word, merely sat there in silence, his body quivering and his lungs drawing sharp breaths. Zayn wondered if they might get out of this. Maybe this was a dream and he would wake up? Maybe he would be at home, lying in bed with his baby brother wrapped tightly in his arms, a big cozy quilt wrapped around them. But, of course, this was Zayn’s life and it was selfish to think it was so horrible.

 

             He wasn’t Niall.

 

             He wasn’t the little boy whose real father was murdered, his throat slashed from ear to ear when he didn’t give someone his wallet, he wasn’t the little boy who watched his mommy drink herself into a coma and he defiantly wasn’t the little boy who watched that same mommy wake up and not care about him. Watched her re-marry the man who touched him every night and most of all...He wasn’t the little boy who held his head to high, faced every day with a smile, and worked past each and every challenge.

 

             No...He was a coward. A fool and he was worthless.

 

             Zayn’s thoughts where interrupted when Niall sucked in a long breath and his body quaked. "S'cold, Zaynie." Niall whimpered, moving his face to Zayn’s neck and pushing it into the warm skin. "I know...I'm sorry." Zayn said again. he sounded like a record on repeat and he wished he could say something else to ease Niall’s pain.

 

             He wrapped his arms tighter around Niall and hummed a quiet tune. “You sing?” Niall wondered, pestering Zayn to do just the thing he loved. Loved the sound of Zayn’s voice, soothing him. Zayn nodded and with a shaky voice, begun to sing.

 

_“I was born by the river in a little tent_

_Oh and just like the river I've been running ever since_

_It's been a long, a long time coming_

_But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will.”_

             Niall smiled up at Zayn. He recognized the song…just didn’t know from where.

_“It's been too hard living but I'm afraid to die_

_Cause I don't know what's up there beyond the sky_

_It's been a long, a long time coming_

_But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will”_

 

             Zayn traced soft, paint covered hands up Niall’s bare arm, nuzzling his face against the smaller’s temple, kissing his cheek. Niall shivered again, but giggled at the sensation of Zayn’s kisses. He loved each and every one of them. Wither it was a soft, short kiss or a long, lingering one, that Zayn praised him with late at Night when he thought the younger was asleep. When he acted out on some part of his fantasies with the younger, leaving gentle…yet spine tingling kisses on every piece of exposed skin.

 

_“I go to the movie and I go downtown somebody keep telling me don't hang around_

_It's been a long, a long time coming_

_But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will”_

             This time, Niall kissed Zayn, just under his chin and the boy blushed, his blue eyes sparkling from the dim light of the restaurant’s back door. It kind of reminded Zayn of lady and the tramp, as tragic as it sounded.

_“Then I go to my brother_

_And I say brother help me please_

_But he winds up knockin' me_

_Back down on my knees_

_Ohhhhhhhhh.....”_

 

             Zayn wished he could hear accordion, playing soft, slow Italian music in the back ground. Wished they were warmer…safer. But that wasn’t going to happen. Wasn’t going to happen because he was a stupid, stupid man.

_“There been times that I thought I couldn't last for long_

_But now I think I'm able to carry on_

_It's been a long, a long time coming_

_But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will”_

 

             Zayn finished his song, repositioning Niall in his arms and sighing against the youngers shoulder, closing his eyes there.

 

             "C...Can I have my surprise now?" And Zayn’s closing eyes flew open because _did Niall really just ask that?_


	7. Chapter 7 - Sometimes It Seems You Gain Less Than You Lose

             “Please?” Niall said, looking up into Zayn’s eyes. Zayn nodded and drew in a shaky breath. Was this really what Niall wanted?

 

            “Are you sure?” Zayn asked, breathing out with an exasperated gasp.

 

            Niall giggled and nodded, “Yes, please, Zaynie,”

 

            Zayn nodded, knowing that he couldn’t deny his baby of anything. His hand shakily to the side of Niall’s face and moved them closer together. You could see their breath in the air, warm and puffy in the cold crisp atmosphere. Niall looked at Zayn like he was from the heavens, and really, Zayn hated it. He wasn’t amazing. In fact, he was selfish and terrible, really wrong. He shouldn’t be holding his brother so close like this. And he definitely, definitely shouldn’t be trying to kiss him. Yeah, that wasn’t something he would be doing if he was a gift from the heavens.

 

            “C’mon Zaynie!” Niall insisted with a smile.

 

            “Yeah, okay,” Zayn breathed, leaning in yet closer and rubbing his thumb along Niall’s soft cheek bones. His hand is shaky and leans in and yes, he is definitely going to hell. Their lips lock and Niall has no idea what to do, so he mimics Zayn’s movement. Niall’s lips are soft and beautiful and it’s so nice, and Zayn can’t help but to lick across his bottom lip. It’s short, but it’s enough, and Zayn forces himself to stop.

 

            “I liked that,” Niall smiles happily.

 

            Zayn just breaths out and lets himself sit there and hate himself a little longer. But then Niall’s stomach growls, and Zayn knows that he has really fucked up. Like, a lot.

 

            “Again,” Niall insists.

 

            Zayn shakes his head and knows that he cannot stay in this telephone booth forever, and he wants to sit down and cry, but he knows that this will only make Niall cry too, so he pushes aside the pain and stands up.

 

            “Where are you going?” Niall asked.

 

            “Maybe to find some food,” Zayn said.

 

            “Food?”

 

            “Yes, bread or….” Zayn’s not even sure what he is thinking or planning in his head but he hates every outlook of the future. He pushes the door of the phone booth open, peaking his head out, into the cold, wet rain. The only source of light, bring the old restaurant, in which Zayn could still see a woman working, cleaning up after a long day’s work. He thought of maybe asking her, maybe offering to help her if she would only feed his little brother.

 

            He settled on just that and told Niall to stay where he was, which the blonde obeyed as Zayn raced towards the building, trying to keep out of the cold, stinging water. He knocked once, his body shaking from the cold nipping at his cold arms, having given Niall’s his jacket.

 

            The young girl opened the back door and peeked out, rubbing her hands together after a fresh wash. "Can I help you?" she asked, worry in her voice. Why was this guy standing out in the rain? She looked to be a few years older than Zayn, but a very responsible person. "I-I was just...You see, me and my brother we kind of...Ran away from a bad situation and well, he’s really hungry. I-I was hoping maybe, you might have something for him to eat? I could...help you or something, I just...I don’t want my brother to go hungry." Zayn shivered and shook as the water ran down his tan skin, his hair sticking to his forehead.

 

            "O-Of course, come on in. Where’s your brother?" She peaked her head out and looked around. "H-He’s in the phone booth, I'll be right back?" Zayn pointed as he ran off to Niall who climbed into his arms shakily, resting his head on Zayn’s shoulder like he had lost him for a long time. "C'mon, Ni this nice lady is gonna give you something to eat?"

 

            Niall smiled as Zayn ran across the ally again and helped Niall inside, setting him down on the tile ground, his body quivering. The woman stared at Niall for a moment, loving the way his big blue eyes stared with innocents. "What’s your name?" She knelt down to his sight, seeing as she was taller than Zayn. "N-Niall." The blonde offered his hand, cold and wet, but the girl shook it. "Hi there, Niall. I'm Georgia." She smiled kindly.

 

            Niall giggled and glanced around the room, inhaling deeply. "Smells good in here." He blushed.

 

            The girl, Georgia, looked up at Zayn who mouthed a few words. "He’s autistic." But, said it a few decimals to loud and Niall stared back at him. "Yep! Zaynie says I'm special." The blonde stuck his finger in some flower, swiping it across the counter. "Powder." He examined.

 

            "That’s called flour." She pointed out, putting a dab on the blondes nose while she reached for a towel, handing it to Zayn who thanked her, but instead using it for himself, dried off his brothers skin, pressing a kiss to his hand and leaning against his shoulder. "Thank you." He whispered to Georgia who patted his back. "Say Niall, would you like to learn how to make a pizza?"

 

            Niall give her a curious look. "Never had pizza?" She concluded and the blonde shook his head. Who on earth has never had pizza? "Well, I'll show you! C'mon." She smiled kindly and extended her hand, which Niall gladly took.

 

            Zayn pulled up a seat as he watched the two. Georgia let Niall make the crust, helped him toss it up in the air. Niall was good at this whole, cooking thing. His mind didn’t get distracted once. It was like painting, creating a masterpiece.

 

            "Now we put it in the oven, Okay?" She placed the round pizza on what Niall thought looked like a spatula. He remembered Zayn using one when he got to make Niall breakfast in the morning, which wasn’t very offend.

 

            "How long will take?" Niall wondered, his face pouty and sad. What if they brunt his pizza! "Only a few minutes. Then you can eat it!" She exclaimed, holding onto Niall’s hands. Zayn wasn’t sure if he liked that, but she seemed harmless. Completely and utterly composed purely by Niall’s innocents, instead of feeling attraction to him.

 

            "Yummy!" He cheered and raced back to Zayn, jumping onto his lap. "Hey there, charming." Zayn smiled, kissing his nose. He almost forgot about Georgia.

 

            "You know, uhm...There’s a room in the back, you guys can stay there for the night? I don’t know what you’re running from but...You can hide out there. This is my father’s restaurant, so he won’t mind." She offered. Zayn shook his head eagerly, smiling gently. "T-That would be wonderful, thank you."

 

            They talked for some time, Zayn told her about his dad, well...A few things about him. She didn’t push the subject. They talked about Niall and how they meet. She seemed rather relieved to learn they weren’t actually brothers. When the pizza was done, Niall giggled and jumped up, watching the woman push the spatula under it and pull it from the oven, setting it one large dish, where she told Niall to let it 'cool' which meant he had to wait even longer.

 

            After it cooled, Niall got to take his first bite of pizza and boy if it wasn’t the yummiest thing he'd ever had. His eyes widened and he watched at the cheese stretched with his bite. "So yummy!" He pointed out, smiling at Zayn who ate a piece himself. Georgia told him she didn’t need him to help, that she would help them in any ways possible. Which was something Zayn really appreciated.

 

            After eating, Georgia started to pack up, smiling at Zayn and Niall who cuddled together under a blanket she gave them as they slept on the couch, confined in the office room. "I'll be back in the morning and I'll help you figure out what to do?"

 

            Zayn smiled and nodded his head. "Bye Georgia," He waved. "See you in the morning, Zayn." She flicked off the light and like that, she was gone and Zayn was fast asleep, cradling the blonde close to his body.


	8. Chapter 8 - I Will Love You, Like I've Never Been Hurt

             Four fourth five in the morning rolled around, as did Zayn. How could he sleep anyways? He didn’t even want to think about how horrible his life would end up after yesterday. he was so stupid, so foolish. He thought momentarily about just getting up and leaving. Leaving Niall there because he knew the blonde would be in good hands with Georgia, but could he really put that on her?

 

             And how could he leave Niall? He would never trust a single human being gain. He couldn’t do that to his baby brother. The little boy he watched over sense he was twelve years old, Niall the eleven year old brat he was expecting, but turns out, he was the furthest thing from it.

 

             Zayn stared at the ceiling and let his mind wonder back to the day he meet the small boy. He didn’t talk, from what his dad told him. That was back when he still had a strong bond with the now hated man.

 

_~Flashback~_

_Twelve year old Zayn was a stubborn kid. He was rowdy and loud and he had a large number of friends. He was a trouble maker and frankly, he was a bully._

_And he made up his mind he was going to be just that to his new brother. His stupid brother he had to share a room with till they moved to the new house. Maura seemed kind, she was fairly reserved, but she was...nice. As for her son, Zayn hadn’t heard anything about._

_He figured he would be what you'd expect from any eleven year old. Probably obnoxious and way to annoying. Not that Zayn was any different?_

_They stood at the doorstep of Maura's Ireland home, where she had laid her resent husband to rest on a few years before. The woman couldn’t live in the house any longer._

_Zayn was reluctant to go inside. He didn’t want to bother, didn’t want to deal with the kid tugging at him and asking him stupid questions. So he crossed arms and let out a loud, spoiled brat like huff._

_"Yaser!" Maura cheered, hugging her Fiancé and welcoming the two into her home. Zayn didn’t like it one bit. To drab, to dreary. There was nothing fun for him to do and he could see that from here. "Where is it." His dad said in a hushed tone, glancing down at his son. "In his room, as always." The woman groaned and Zayn wondered who they were speaking of. "Lovely." His dad mocked._

_"Son, why don’t you go upstairs and meet your new brother? Bet you'll find he’s a really joy." The man laughed in a sarcastic way and Zayn suddenly didn’t like the way his father was speaking. Scared him._

_Who cocked an eyebrow and headed for the stairs where he climbed up them, making his way down the hallway till he was met with a door, a squiggly, messy drawing that looked like it was done by a five year old. The name "Niall' readable if you squinted._

_He sighed and grabbed the door knob, twisting it slowly as he pushed the door open. The room was dark, the windows probably covered when he stepped inside. A small light aluminate the wall and he noticed quiet sounds of a cartoon and bits of laughter. It was a small, scared voice. Like he was trying not to giggle loud._

_"H-Hello?" Zayn let his voice travel through the small room as he peaked around the TV at the small boy, his blonde hair sticking straight up and too-big of blue eyes starred back at him._

_The boy gasped and pushed himself under the bed next to him, which had but a blanket on it. no sheets, not pillow. just a blanket._

_"H-Hey, it’s okay?" Zayn peaked under the bed, the TV light making two eyes glisten back at him. "I won’t hurt you." Zayn put his hand out, shaking and trembling like he was holding his hand out to a rabid dog._

_He left it there and waited a moment, before a small, skinny hand reached out for it, placing it in Zayn’s wearily. His hand was cold and lifeless as Zayn helped him from under the bed. "Shh, it’s okay. Zayn soothed, brushing some of his too-long hair from his face. "I'm Zayn...I'm Yaser’s son, your new brother?" Zayn offered but the boy didn’t respond._

_"A-Are you okay?" Zayn tilted his head to one side, examining the boy’s features. "Y-Yes." The boy nodded. His voice was tiny and had a innocent ring to it._

_Zayn didn’t ask because he didn’t need to. He could tell by just looking at the blonde that he was special. He watched him race to the door and close it tight before climbing back on the bed, staring at Zayn with curious eyes._

_And Zayn stared back...until they started to leak, tears running down Niall’s red cheeks and Zayn held Niall for the first time that night, found himself cuddled into the bed, pressed to the wall while the little autistic boy curled into a tight ball, protecting the soft parts of his body as he allowed Zayn to wrap a wary arm around his mid-section._

_Zayn liked holding Niall. No...Zayn loved it._

_~End Flashback~_

             Zayn blinked his eyes again with a groan. How could he even think of leaving his beautiful little boy?

 

             He turned over to face the blonde, who no longer slept like he was in danger, but sprawled out next to his brothers protective stature.

 

             Zayn smiled when the boys warm breath painted his face and he ran his hands through Niall’s soft hair, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He could do that now, he could kiss those soft, plump lips. Zayn grinned at that and kissed again, and again and the more Zayn thought about it...He kissed Niall so many times, his lips hurt. They burned to have Niall kiss back. He needed Niall to kiss back.

 

             He licked his lips when he let his eyes follow the entirety of Niall bare back, the small blanket they were given hanging over him, exposing soft, white flesh and Zayn pressed his lips to it, leaving lingering kisses.

 

             The body below him let out a rumble and Niall shifted his weight. "Charming, love wake up. I need to kiss that pretty mouth." Zayn teased, burying his face in Niall’s hair, taking him in.

 

             "Tired." Niall groaned as he turned over, his hooded eyes showing sign of life and a smile played on Niall’s lips.

 

             Zayn needed to kiss them. He needed to press his own lips to them, god he needed that reassurance.

 

             So he did, he kissed them softly and Niall kissed back sloppily. Niall wasn’t a very good kisser, Zayn knew that much but it was the thought...He was kissing those lips, those lips he always dreamed about. "Love you, Zaynie." Niall giggled and wrapped his arms around the taller.

 

             "Love you too charming." Zayn sighed, fucking sighed, and Niall didn’t like that. "What wrong?" Niall’s face contorted, his eyes sad.

 

             "We need to go, charming...I'm sorry." Zayn sighed, sitting up, grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his head. "But Georgia say-" "I know what Georgia said, but we just...cant. You wouldn’t understand." Zayn sighed again and shit he didn’t mean to say that because now Niall looked away from him.

 

             "No—Charming, I didn’t mean it like that...Your—God, I'm sorry." Zayn bit his lip and gave the boy his shirt. "We can’t pin this on Georgia, Okay? She’s a busy person and she doesn’t need to put up with our drama, okay?" Niall nodded in understanding, but really, Zayn knew he didn’t get a word of that.

 

             "I'm sorry I said that baby," Zayn sighed, gripping Niall’s chin and kissing him again, letting his lips linger, let them stick together as he pulled away from Niall, blinking his eyes open and gazing up at the lad. He could feel the heat radiating off Niall, see the arousal in his eyes and Zayn felt it too, but he brushed it off, knowing Niall would do the same.

 

             "Where we gonna go?" Niall wondered as he watched Zayn write Georgia a long note, thanking her for letting them stay and explaining why they had to leave. "We need to get my car, okay? We have to go back home, but I promise we won’t be there long, and you won’t see dad."

 

             Niall gulped but nodded.

 

             He just hoped Zayn was right.


	9. Chapter 9 -  All That's Dead And Gone And Past Tonight

            The two of them snuck back into the house, the house that had started to feel like such a cage, a fucking cage. It was late and kind of dark, and Zayn was shaking with nerves. He knew that this had to be quiet and quick. So he did as he needed to, gathering the things he needed quickly and making sure that Niall stayed quiet.

 

            “Zayn?”

 

            “Shh,” Zayn hushed his little brother, walking towards his side table and grabbing the small box that contained his money. He put the money into the small bag he grabbed, and then headed to grab a few sets of clothes from the dresser.

 

            Suddenly there was a loud noise from somewhere in the house, and Niall let out a whimper, his eyes closing as he clenched his fists. He didn’t want his dad to come back. He didn’t want to see him ever again. What he did hurt, it hurt so bad, so bad. Niall didn’t know  what it meant, or why it hurt like it did, but he hated. He never wanted it again. Zayn ran to his side and held Niall tight, slipping a hand over his mouth and moving them to the corner of the room. Once there was a hole minute without another noise, Zayn released Niall and continued packing. When he was finished, he grabbed his keys.

 

            “Ready, charming?” Zayn asked. He was ready to leave this place. He was ready to never come back here again.

 

            “No!” Niall protested, “Our paintings,”

 

            Zayn stopped, and looked up to the walls. They were covered with the paintings still, and Zayn hadn’t even though about it. What about all the memories they had made in this place? The paintings? What about all the first times they had here?

 

_*Flashback*_

 

_“NO!” Zayn screamed. Niall sobbed in the corner, and Zayn jumped in front of him. Instead of pushing Zayn aside, like normal and going for the poor blonde, their father held Zayn close and breathed on him, his breath smelling so much of alcohol that he wanted to pass out. His father was angry, so angry looking, and Zayn didn’t even feel like he recognized this man at all. Suddenly, his father was tearing off his clothes and pinning him to the floor. Up until this point, their father hadn’t touched Zayn in that way, but now, his plans were obvious. Niall screamed, because he could tell that Zayn was scared and that he didn’t want it._

 

_“Don’t hurt him!” Niall screamed._

 

_“It’s okay,” Zayn tried to comfort him. But then their father thrust into him and Zayn screamed out, pain overtaking him and making his head slam against the floor._

 

_“Zayn!”_

 

_“Shut up, retard,” Their father spat._

           

*End flashback*

 

            It was the worst night of Zayn’s life. Or, one of them at least. After their father had left, Zayn had tried to make sure Niall thought he was alright, even though he wasn’t. That night they painted for ten hours straight, and Niall giggled the whole time, even though Zayn was on the verge of crying the whole time. Finally they got to bed though, and Zayn knew that he had to stay strong.

 

            But now, it seemed like leaving those paintings behind would make things worse. Zayn, in all honesty, wanted to remember. He wanted to remember what he and Niall had overcome. So, he hopped onto his bed and began pulling the paintings down and putting them in the bag one at a time, smiling upon each of them with another memory.

 

            “Is this better?” Zayn asked.

 

            Niall nodded and walked over to his brother, “Can you put your lips on mine again?” He asked out of the blue. Zayn froze and shook his head.

 

            “Not now,”

 

            “But…but Zaynie…”

 

            “Niall,” Zayn scolded in a quiet whisper. Niall’s face contorted and tears welled in his eyes. It was obvious that he was about to cry and Zayn couldn’t take that right now. They couldn’t make any noise. None. “Be quiet,”

 

            Niall whimpered again and then burst into tears. Shit. Zayn grabbed the bag and his keys, sprinting out of the room and down the steps, out the door. He could hear someone following them, but he couldn’t look back. He didn’t want to see his dad’s eyes. They made it to the car, and as soon as Niall and Zayn were in, he locked the doors and pulled out of the driveway before anything else could happen. Niall was still crying but Zayn had to ignore it for now. Ignore it until they got far enough away. Far enough away so their father couldn’t find them.

 

            Ever again.


	10. Chapter 10 - Put Your Lips Close To Mine

             Zayn huffed as they drove down the same empty rode for the third time that morning. Niall still sniffled in the seat next to him. Zayn was so frustrated, so confused and fighting himself in his head. They were two teenagers on the run because yeah, _that’s_ not a problem.

 

             Niall hiccupped loudly, and Zayn cracked internally. "Would you stop crying, god _damnit_ Niall!" He shouted, leaning his head against the stearin wheel as they sat at the red light. He felt bad right after, Niall’s whimpers becoming louder and he sunk in his seat.

 

             "Charming..." Zayn sighed, grabbing the blondes hand and tangling their fingers together. "I'm sorry, baby boy..." He kissed the hand and pulled away from the red light. "Where we go?" Niall rubbed his eyes with the free hand he still had, curling into the blanket he had wrapped around him. "I don’t know..." Zayn sighed. He didn’t know _what_ to do...Didn’t know where he and Niall would go.

 

             "M'Hungry again." Niall whispered, playing with the string hanging off his blanket. "I have money now, we could get something?" Zayn offers. He has around two thousand Pounds saved, which, while it seems like a lot, Isn’t very much. Zayn knows that, but it will be enough until he can find a way to earn money. After all, he is a teenager who hasn’t even finished school.

 

              No one’s going to hire him, so how is he going to pay for Niall’s expenses? How is he going to take care of his baby brother?

 

             "We go see Georgia?" Niall wondered, tugging on Zayn’s arm. Zayn sighed. "I don’t know, babe...I don’t know if shell want us back there." Zayn bit down on his swollen lip, sighing. He didn’t want to bother the poor woman.

 

             "Georgia not...want us?" Niall pouted at Zayn. It was silent in the car for a moment as Zayn pulled into the parking Lott of a grocery store, parking the car as rain poured down on them. "How come no one want us?" Niall wondered, staring emotionlessly at Zayn. The elder didn’t know how to answer. He didn’t know how to tell his little brother no one wanted them around. "We just have to find the right people." Zayn concluded.

 

             Niall didn’t like the sound of that. What if they never found the right one's?

 

             Zayn looked down at Niall who seemed so sad-- _was_ so sad. And he wanted to wash all his worries away, wanted to make everything better. He lifted his chin, smiling softly at the blonde. "Don’t worry bud...Someone will want us. I promise." Zayn reassured, leaning in hesitantly, searching for any sign Niall didn’t want it. But he closed his eyes, pressing his lips into a kissy face and letting Zayn press their mouths together.

 

             Niall sighed softly through his nose and wrapped an arm around Zayn’s neck, pulling the lad closer, who pressed Niall against the car door, swiping his tongue against Niall’s lower lip. He was so caught up in the moment, so lost in the passion and lust radiating off their two bodies.

 

             Niall wasn’t sure what to do, didn’t know where to go from there. "Open your mouth." Zayn insisted against his lips and Niall did...Opened his mouth wide and let Zayn turn his head, pushing his tongue inside and swapping their saliva, Niall’s hands reaching up to clutch Zayn’s messy hair, pulling him in quicker, rougher. Smashing their mouths together with such force, Zayn was sure it would leave them swollen and puffy for days, but right now...he could care less.

 

             This was steam he needed to let off. He needed to feel the full force of Niall’s mouth against his; the blondes spit dripping from the corners of his mouth. It was so messy, yet so delightful and it left Zayn speechless and huffing against his seat. Niall wiped his lips, swallowing the contents of his mouth and watching Zayn lick at his lips. He wasn’t going to let a drop of Niall escape him. Not now, not ever.

 

             He wanted all of him, all the time, every day and in every way. And when he thought about it...He wanted him in many different positions as well. But that was for later-- _way_ later. For now, he had to get his prince some breakfast, and the grocery store would be the fastest place. "C'mon, Charming." Zayn stammered, pulling Niall across the center conceal and out of the car, grabbing onto his hand and holding him tightly as they walked into the store.

 

             He stole a glance of the blonde and yeah—his lips where red, puffy and swollen like he was hit. Zayn did that...Zayn left him flustered and panting and Zayn suddenly felt a rush of confidents as they walked down the breakfast isle. "C'mere, you." He groaned out and latched an arm around his brother waist, pushing him against the boxes of cereal and pining him there with his lips, claiming Niall’s in front of everyone, who, didn’t exactly divert their eyes.

 

             Zayn lapped at the inside of Niall’s mouth and pressed himself firmly against the boy, who grabbed onto one of the shelves for leverage as he let out a surprised squeak. Zayn had never been so bold—so reckless and forceful and it made Niall’s belly turn, his body shudder and his legs give way because god, Zayn was good at this, and Niall loved the way it made him feel--So rushed and hurried--so _hot_ and his body light as a feather.

 

             When Zayn retreated, they managed to knock down several boxes of cereal and scare off at least six patron’s. And fuck, Zayn was damn proud of himself.

 

             "Zaynie you crazy." Niall giggled. Zayn was crazy—crazy _in love_.

 

             "How about that breakfast, Yeah?" Zayn’s face flushed red for a brief moment and he dragged his younger brother down the aisle. "Pop tarts?" He pointed and Niall nearly jumped for joy. When he was younger, and Zayn still had his mean streak, he once saw his older sibling eating a pop tart, and he wondered how it tasted. If it was as yummy as it looked.

_~Flashback~_

_"Can I have some?" Niall wondered as he let his tiny feet carry him down the steps. It was the week that Zayn had meat Niall and even thought he was already feeling protective towards the younger, that didn’t mean he had to share with him._

_"My dad said not to feed you." Zayn shrugged. "He said you have to eat what’s left over in your room because you make too much of a mess." And Zayn’s father smirked at the small blonde who stared back with large, dazzling blue eyes and maybe that was when their father snapped, gazing into the orbs until he grabbed the little boys arm and totted him up the flight of stairs._

_Zayn of course, rushed after them. He still to this day felt it was his fault. His fault his brother was hurt so badly._

_"Dad! Stop it!" Zayn screamed as the door shut, flat in his face. His step mum was at work, which left him and the little blonde home alone with their father._

_Zayn banged on the door, fearing what was to come to his younger brother, someone he came to know as his friend. "Stop it! Please!" Zayn screamed._

_He pressed his face to the brown, dreary door and screamed at his father. On the other side, screaks of pain filled the room, smacking of skin and loud grunts. And yeah, on the other side of that door, Niall wondered why his dad was doing this? Wasn’t he supposed to love Niall?_

_But no...Now, he had the little boy, no larger than a six year old, bent over the end of his bed, hands behind his back and clamped together in the man’s large fists as he took Niall dry, blood leaking out around him until Niall couldn’t take it any longer, closing his little eyes as the body behind him went slack and he felt more than blood trickling down his skinny legs._

_It was no sooner he opened his eyes again to have his brother hovering over him, eyes leaking tears and sobbing like Niall did when mommy told him his daddy wasn’t coming home._

_"I-I don’t know what to do..." Zayn cried. He sat between Niall’s spread legs, which bleed all over Zayn’s sheets. Niall was scratched and bitten all over, but the worst of the pain came from his bum._

_And Zayn vowed that he would_ always _take care of Niall, mainly because no one else knew how. Because Zayn was his guardian._

_~End Flashback~_

 

             Charming...you okay?" Zayn nudged his brother who stared blankly at their intertwined hands. Niall giggled a little and grabbed the box, complexly forgetting about the memory as he dragged Zayn down the aisle.


	11. Chapter 11 - And I Never Tell Him No

The car quickly froze. Zayn had parked them in the side of a wide open field. The two of them were out there for everyone to see. Niall and Zayn had crawled into the backseat and were trying to get some sort of sleep—after all, since when has sleeping in a car comfortable. As the night wore on, things got cold, and they only had a few blankets to keep them warm. Zayn was still angry. Angry with himself, angry with Niall’s questions. He was being selfish.

 

            “I’m cold Zaynie,” Niall whimpered, sticking out his bottom lip in an adorable pout. Zayn sighs and runs his hands through Niall’s blonde ruffled hair, “Turn on the heat!” Niall exclaimed. Zayn couldn’t help but smile at Niall’s enthusiasm

 

            “Cant,” Zayn mumbled, “We can’t waste the gas just to run the heat,”

 

            “But it’s cold,” Niall repeated.

 

            Zayn sighed and grabbed Niall’s smaller body, pulling them together and making Niall’s head fall right into his neck, “Better?”

 

            Niall giggled and nodded, and pulled the few blankets further over their bodies.

 

            Unfortunately as the night continued on, it only got colder and colder, and Niall began to cry because his fingers and toes felt like ice cubes. He was sobbing angrily, pushing himself further and further into Zayn’s body.

 

            “Please…” Niall sobbed, “Heat,”

 

            “No,” Zayn’s voice cracked. He couldn’t stand seeing his baby cry. “Charming, I can’t. We can’t waste the gas,”

 

            “Please!” Niall yelled, “So cold!”

 

            Zayn began crying too, and that’s how Niall fell asleep, holding onto his brother and sobbing until there was no more will in his body to fight this.

 

            Zayn didn’t get any sleep. He stayed up all night hating himself for being so dense. He leaned forward, kissing Niall’s pouty lips while he slept and then took a deep breath. He had to get himself under control. _He had to do something._

 

But Zayn literally felt terrible. Absolutely terrible.

 

            For the first time in a long time, Zayn was utterly lost. And his new found self hate wasn’t helping him at all.

 

            The next morning when Niall woke up and the tears have dried on his cheek. He looked up to his Zayn, his protector, the only one who has ever cared for him, and put his lips close to Zayn’s.

 

            “Kiss me,” Niall smiled, “Please?”

 

            Zayn’s eyes flickered to the sun rising outside, and he took a deep breath. The sun would bring heat, and the heat would bring better feelings. Zayn knew that things would feel better soon. At least, he hoped.

 

            So Zayn kissed Niall on the lips, letting his little brother know how much he loved him. When Zayn leaned back, his eyes fluttering open, Niall’s stared back, gnawing on his bottom lip softly. "Kisses make it warm." He whispered, cheeks flushing red. He didn’t know why Zayn made him feel so...tingly...but he liked it. He liked it a lot.

 

            "More?" He wondered in a soft voice, his breath steaming in Zayn’s face.

 

            How could he say no, when he got that reaction out of the little lad? So he kissed him again...And Again. He kissed Niall so hard he thought he might crumble into pieces and melt of happiness. Kissing Niall was like Christmas. He knew what the presents looked like on the outside, but everyone was a little different. Like Niall’s kisses.

 

            Somewhere soft and lingering, others rough and demanding and it always changed.

 

            Right now he was kissing needy, hungrily. He nipped and bit and Zayn determined he liked Niall biting him. He panted and whimpered against Niall’s dominating lips but he knew the position wouldn’t last, Niall pressing him to the window, straddling his lap. Any moment he would find himself hovering over the blonde, kissing his way down that slender neck, sucking at every other mole or freckle.

 

            Niall managed to grab hold of Zayn’s hair when he did that, leaving a red bruise on the smaller’s protruding collar bone. That felt good to Niall. He liked the way Zayn moved his body against him, how something needy poked his thigh with every grind down and the Pakistani boy what losing control, losing sight and morals and he was shredding the lad of his clothes...piece...by...piece.


	12. Chaper 12 - Stay With Me Forever

             With Niall’s pants came panic. The smaller understood what happened when his daddy took his pants off...but Zayn? Was Zaynie going to do that to him too? Niall didn’t want Zayn to hurt him, he loved Zayn.

 

             "N-No, Zaynie please M'Sorry! I be good?" He whimpered, a tear dribbling down his pale cheeks. Zayn froze in his spot, where he hovered over Niall’s lower half, his lips rested at his hip bone. "N-No, Niall I'm-I mean, I won’t do that..." Zayn sighed, crawling back up to the boy’s face, kissing his lips tenderly. "I'll make it feel good. Its different now Ni, we can make each other feels so good. What dad did want good, he hurt you...I will never do that." Zayn buried his face in the boy’s neck, breathing him in sharply, thickly.

 

             Niall smelt like strawberries and sweat. A small twinge of musk and it might have stunk to anyone else but it smelled like _Niall_ and Zayn loved that part of him. When he wasn’t at his best, when he woke up in the mornings with messy hair and a sleepy smile. Moments like this was when he loved Niall most.

 

             "Promise it feels good?" Niall questioned, body still stiff with shock. Zayn stroked his bare sides, moving his head to the Youngers chest and kissing him once there. "Promise. If I do anything wrong will you tell Zaynie? I promise I'll make it better. You need to trust me, bud."

 

             Niall nodded closing his eyes while his brother trailed down his body, leaving open mouthed kisses and wet touches with the tongue. Niall whined lowly when Zayn tugged his pajama pants he slept in down, kissing the cluster of hairs above his boy bits. Niall wanted Zayn to touch him there--It hurt, made him feel uncomfortable and something inside him said Zayn could make that go away. He didn’t know how, only knew Zayn could help.

 

             When Niall looked down, he and Zayn booth stared at the bulge in his boxers. Niall wanted to scream because was that really in his boxers? What was wrong with his peepee? Would Zayn get mad at him?

 

             Zayn cracked a smile and chuckled at the smaller who sill stared with bulging eyes. "It’s okay, its supposed to be like that." Zayn smirked, latching his fingers in the waistband of his boxers and pulling them down, latching Niall’s dick before letting it spring free, laying against Niall’s stomach with a slight curve to the left. Zayn had seen Niall nude almost every night, but not like this. Not so...close. Never so intimate and so needy.

 

             His cock head was angry read and leaking and when Zayn’s cool breath struck it, he watched Niall twitch with a whimper.

 

             He looked so delectable, so eatable. Zayn wanted to devour him, take him in hold and _choke_ on him, Zayn wanted to _lose_ himself around that length. "Stay still," He warned, drawing in a deep breath and positioning himself in the small backseat. He leant down, giving the head of Niall’s cock a timid kitten lick, testing it and when Niall’s hips bucked up, he couldn’t help but take him in. Wrap his lips around all of him and moan against the warmth that filled his wet mouth.

 

             Niall liked the sensation, but he was scared Zayn would bite him and he didn’t want that. Even though he was in fear, he let his hips buck up, fucking into Zayn’s mouth with a whine and a whimper. Niall's toes curled and he held Zayn’s hair tightly in his small hands. He liked the way Zayn was touching him, the elders hands on his balls while Zayn swirled his tongue around Niall’s tip, lapping up all the bitters wetness.

 

             Niall shook and quaked, his legs wrapping tightly around Zayn’s neck, biting harshly on is lip and his whole body tensed. He felt so confused, yet so pleased. Zayn felt so... _good_. And Niall loved that, loved the way Zayn looked up at him, his eyes large and black while he let the younger fuck him--fuck his face so hard he thought he might break his jaw. Niall already hit the back of Zayn’s throat but the blonde couldn’t hold himself and moved his hips.

 

             With Zayn’s hands massaging his balls, Niall didn’t know what was going to happen. He felt like he was on a cliff, at the edge and about to fall and the way Zayn played with him, sucked and bobbed his head, saliva dripping down his chin.

 

             Niall fell off that cliff then, he came with an ear piercing scream and the car shook as he held Zayn there, buried to the hilt and cuming down his throat. Zayn gagged and choked but Niall didn’t stop—couldn’t stop.

 

             "Zaynie!" He squealed, squinting as hard as he could, his jaw dropped and a silent scream leaving him again.

 

             When he settled, and Zayn had swallowed, he looked down at his older brother who grinned, nipping at the inside of Niall’s thigh. Zayn then crawled back up the smaller, paler body and returned to kissing his swollen, puffy lips.

 

             Zayn loved kissing Niall, loved touching him and having him in his mouth, but right now he wanted to go a little further. Not all the way, no that could wait. Forever if Zayn had his way. But right now, his dick spoke for him and he turned Niall on his back. "I won’t hurt you; I'm not putting my peepee in." Zayn instructed when he directed Niall’s hips up.

 

             Zayn sat on his knees in nothing but his boxers, hands running up and down Niall’s bare body, pressing a kiss to the middle of his back, right on his spine. "Move with me," Zayn spoke, grinding his hips against Niall’s bum, grasping his thin and tender hips so hard it would bruise.

 

             Niall looked back at him, watching the way Zayn moved his hips against him. He thinks he likes it, but then again...he’s not sure.

 

             Niall does move though, he presses back over and over and sooner rather than later, Zayn his slumping his dick against Niall’s ass, grinding against him and rubbing himself off. Zayn was humming Niall with not a bit of shame.

 

             When Niall moaned quietly, almost in a pained way (although he was certainly enjoying himself) Zayn lost it and groaned loud, leaning down to bite into Niall’s shoulder to keep from spewing profanities.

 

             He bit hard, making Niall gasp and whine, reaching over his shoulder to hold Zayn’s hair.

 

             Zayn rutted against him in that position for some time, sweaty and rushed but he moved faster, finally leaning away from the autistic boys shoulder and throwing his head back.

 

             Niall was a mess below him and it drove Zayn wild and those words he tried to hide.

 

             "Yeah, fuck, yeah!" Zayn bolted out, rubbing his clothed dick along the cresses of Niall’s ass. "Like me humpin' you don’t you?" Came again and Niall couldn’t suppress the whimper that left him, his cock straining with erection once again. "So good, Ni, fuck." He finished, moving his hips franticly, until he was spewing in spurts of white in his boxers, nails digging into Niall’s white flesh as the younger shook with orgasm as well, seconds away from collapsing against the seat.

 

             Zayn’s eyes rolled back and he shivers, crumbling into a ball beside Niall and pulling him into his grasp, not bothering to clean himself off. "Felt good." Niall whispered, playing with his older brothers fingers. "You liked it? I didn’t hurt you, did I?" Zayn worried, kissing the back of Niall’s neck, wrapping the blanket around them. "No, not like dad. Felt good with you Zaynie. I like when you...H-Hump me." He giggled.

 

             Zayn chuckled softly against his skin, rubbing hands down Niall’s chest and whispering sweet nothings into his ear while he let the youngers hot skin cool, before they had to head off again, into the morning in search for hope.


End file.
